I am not at my best when I suffer from mental unrest.
Do I show others I can’t pass the test?
‘Your so strong’ they say as they wave my anxiety away
‘You can articulate’ they say as they turn and walk that way
But I sit there and pray, for the day
When someone will say?
“Are you ok?”
‘I know you can be strong, and say what you think
But I’ve noticed a change in you do you wanna go for a drink?’
Then what you said hit me straight to the bone.
‘Your anxiety was just a form of reality
But don’t get anxious about your anxiety.
The best part of life is that
You have a variety.’
“I don’t know what to choose
How to choose in fact”
‘That’s because you’re scared to be you perhaps?’
You pat me on the back
‘Don’t worry anyway…..’
You would then laugh and say
‘Do you think we all know what we are doing anyway?’
I smile and say
“I feel weak when I admit.”
You say, ‘there’s a strength in that, but you must first submit
What is it?’
“I don’t know its a combination, chaos vs order”
“Trauma, flashbacks and post-traumatic stress disorder”
“See it started when I became no one’s Daughter”
You interrupt as you see the time, you feel anxious with this subject of mine
‘Don’t worry about it you say, as you turn and walk away’
I can’t help it, I shout after you –
“Is it because of what I said?”, I anxiously ask
“You anxiously say, don’t worry about it, as you anxiously walk away”
Saving yourself for another day………..