“being a survivor was needed – now it’s time to thrive, so you can truly be who you are!”
We constantly doubt ourselves when we are in perpetual survival mode. It keeps us in constant fear. The brain is wired differently as opposed to those in the thriving process. Being in survival mode, I became victim to repeated patterns of survival, some are there to protect you and some can hinder you.
In survival mode my perception of myself was:
An orphan, a victim of physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse. A care leaver, a school failure, a single mother.
Now that I am capable of transitioning – as a ‘Thriver’ I perceive myself as;
A Daughter, a Mother, a Caregiver, a 1st Class Degree Graduate, a Social Pedagogue, a Mental Health Advocate, a Blogger and a Youth Project Designer.
During my time at university I began to research my own resilience. How had I gained resilience? For me to find out, I had to go back to the trauma. It was a time of anger, hopelessness, and sorrow, I was left raw.
I went into my cocoon, it was dark, strange and lonely. All that I knew and who I knew, was being stripped away. My relationships, my identity, everything came crashing down.
It was the first time in my life, I truly experienced debilitating Mental Health. Consequently, this led to further complications with my physical health.
The Aces Model has scientifically proven how consistent trauma, over an extended period of time, can affect the brain. Increased levels of cortisol – for example – increase the likelihood (in children and young people, in particular) -for behavioural, social and emotional issues.
Additionally those with a score of ‘4 aces‘ and above, – in the future are 20 times more likely to have; diabetes, heart disease, liver failure. And ultimately a shorter life expectancy of 10-20 years.
the list was endless and the statistics were high for this particular group of people. And then I knew I had found my tribe, we are survivors…..
My desire to thrive was stronger than ever and I came out of my cocoon, no longer a ‘Caterpillar’ and now I had to learn how to be a Butterfly! This is possible for all of us, once the seed of change has been planted, then the transformation process can begin to blossom. It’s not easy and the stages to transition can fluctuate. The journey to transformation can be an amazing experience, but ONLY when the foundation is right.
Once I had reached my epiphany, I had to ask the obvious question… How many other people are out there alone suffering, surviving, not knowing there is potential to thrive? I knew before I could help others, I would first need to help myself. I would need to pass through the eye of the needle, to experience true transformation. I truly believe that my transformation has happened and now it’s time to inspire others to do the same.
I am here to be of service to others and facilitate transformation of the best kind. We all deserve to be the best versions of ourselves, despite the trauma. It was my experiences both personally and professionally, that gave birth to Survive2Thrive.
“Our trauma is what happened to us, it is not who we are.”
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