I sat there hungry not knowing what to do
my bed was cold and empty.
The silence pierced through.
I was nothing without you……..
‘Don’t be stupid’, my inside voices speaks
‘You were nothing anyway’, it squeaks.
I sit there, head in arms as I wipe a tear away.
Least YOU got to save yourself for another day…
I sigh in exhaustion, as the dark cloud, begins formation.
Is this what it looks like when I pay attention?
Proud, conceited and without conscience,
waiting to hug me with false intention?
Did I forget to mention?
The feelings of despair, as its eerie glare ……
I close my eyes and begin to surrender
When the doorbell rings and I fall out of my slumber.
I get up and go and answer.
They hand me a leaflet on depression –
Why did I answer?
I tell them, ‘I know the expression of my depression’.
‘The problem is, how do you block something, that made such an impression.
Every time it becomes an expression, it seems to help my depression.
I digress – sorry – Do you have a question?’
“No, I just need to be paid.
And getting rid of 3k means I’ll be made.
I’m just on my own, renegade.”
In awe of the destruction that just happened at my door, I wonder if anyone cared anymore?
That’s when the dark cloud came back once more, calling me back to my safe seashore.